[This might be my most personal post as of late. I might regret putting it here instead of my more personal blogs but I'll leave it here for a couple of days, or maybe until the time Google shuts down (you'll never know), and just see how my being disclosed turns out. It would be easier to remember the date too, if ever I had to recall this day.]
One of my friends called me up around an hour ago and relayed news that may be, in one way or another, life-changing for me in a not-so-awesome way. I don't know how to go about with putting what she said over here but I'll try anyway, as much as this emotionally subdued blog would let me.
No, I'm changing my mind. Maybe if I don't publish that stupid news in this godforsaken blog, it wouldn't happen. I'll leave that paragraph there for future's sake so I'll have something to link back to if ever I find the incentives to write about the future tragedy of me losing one of the (very) few people I don't find the need to be an Atom Twin to.
I'm changing my mind again. I might finish this post, after all. This frustrates me. Let me overreact. Dammit. I don't want to be all juvenile and say the world is not fair but this time I think I will. It's just hard to stay optimistic when the year starts and you feel lost around the people who think they know you but really don't. I can't help it; most of them can't see past this quiet, twisted, and introverted facade of mine. Maybe the blame's on me for that one, but still.
I'm free to say it gets worse when you lose the lifeline you've had for five years. The lifeline she gave me shaped my insanity and who I am now. I'd never even have a blog if it weren't for the one she deleted a hundred metaphorical years ago. I wouldn't even be browsing the lighter side of fiction if it weren't for the one she shared with me. I could have been stuck with J.D. Salinger and George Orwell but she introduced me to Lisi Harrison.
And, most importantly, if it weren't for her unpredictable mind-set, I could have followed suit into the zombie-esque march toward the world of conformity. I wouldn't have been able to dig deeper into the concept of Nirvana and I wouldn't have been able to make my own concepts.
I wouldn't be the "me" I am now if I had grown with other people. They say who your friends are dictate the type of person you are. I believe so. Just take some time to sit in a corner to watch everybody and you'd find how accurate that statement is.
But I'll cheer up a little bit. There's more to life than St. Jimmy. I bet you don't know what I just typed but for the sake of clarity, it's a Green Day song. Green Day (and Death Cab for Cutie) songs are like oxygen tanks to some of us.
I believe I've already strayed. Have a good night. :)
One of my friends called me up around an hour ago and relayed news that may be, in one way or another, life-changing for me in a not-so-awesome way. I don't know how to go about with putting what she said over here but I'll try anyway, as much as this emotionally subdued blog would let me.
No, I'm changing my mind. Maybe if I don't publish that stupid news in this godforsaken blog, it wouldn't happen. I'll leave that paragraph there for future's sake so I'll have something to link back to if ever I find the incentives to write about the future tragedy of me losing one of the (very) few people I don't find the need to be an Atom Twin to.
I'm changing my mind again. I might finish this post, after all. This frustrates me. Let me overreact. Dammit. I don't want to be all juvenile and say the world is not fair but this time I think I will. It's just hard to stay optimistic when the year starts and you feel lost around the people who think they know you but really don't. I can't help it; most of them can't see past this quiet, twisted, and introverted facade of mine. Maybe the blame's on me for that one, but still.
I'm free to say it gets worse when you lose the lifeline you've had for five years. The lifeline she gave me shaped my insanity and who I am now. I'd never even have a blog if it weren't for the one she deleted a hundred metaphorical years ago. I wouldn't even be browsing the lighter side of fiction if it weren't for the one she shared with me. I could have been stuck with J.D. Salinger and George Orwell but she introduced me to Lisi Harrison.
And, most importantly, if it weren't for her unpredictable mind-set, I could have followed suit into the zombie-esque march toward the world of conformity. I wouldn't have been able to dig deeper into the concept of Nirvana and I wouldn't have been able to make my own concepts.
I wouldn't be the "me" I am now if I had grown with other people. They say who your friends are dictate the type of person you are. I believe so. Just take some time to sit in a corner to watch everybody and you'd find how accurate that statement is.
But I'll cheer up a little bit. There's more to life than St. Jimmy. I bet you don't know what I just typed but for the sake of clarity, it's a Green Day song. Green Day (and Death Cab for Cutie) songs are like oxygen tanks to some of us.
I believe I've already strayed. Have a good night. :)
