...haul me off this hellhole.
If I successfully urge my mother to let me take some kind of entrance test to another school on that date, I just might open a door somewhere. It wouldn't be very different from where I am now, but at least I know a kind of change is due and that's enough.
[I'm also looking forward to clogging a part of my brain which only functions to hate and leaving sounds like the most appropriate thing to do in this case.]
...leave me permanently bound (and deeply possessed) by the Holy Spirit.
I don't entirely like seeing myself become a confirmed Catholic. Catholicism is a religion that only makes me feel like a hypocrite and I'd rather feel whole. I will remain a Catholic, however. I don't want this crazy phase of my life to ruin my future well-being. Nobody approves of it anyway. Considering how narrow I can be, I should assume everyone else knows better.
[And besides, I've already got godparents arranged for me. I don't remember having a single conversation with these people but I hope this whole process turns out well if it does happen.]
...kill me (figuratively) if nothing defining occurs.
These are opportunities for change. Choosing between these could reshape the path I'm about to take. And that means a lot for a very dissatisfied person like me.
I can only pick one of the two because, like you or anyone else, I can't be in two places at once. But given the choice, I would (of course) pick getting hauled off. Religion is a serious matter and I don't want to play with it (more than I have). Transferring needs a lot of persuasion and reason but rational risks always look good to me, even if it can lead to ostracism.
[Ostracism is going to be great for me. I would have new material for my blog. I'd love that.]
[I'm also looking forward to clogging a part of my brain which only functions to hate and leaving sounds like the most appropriate thing to do in this case.]
...leave me permanently bound (and deeply possessed) by the Holy Spirit.
I don't entirely like seeing myself become a confirmed Catholic. Catholicism is a religion that only makes me feel like a hypocrite and I'd rather feel whole. I will remain a Catholic, however. I don't want this crazy phase of my life to ruin my future well-being. Nobody approves of it anyway. Considering how narrow I can be, I should assume everyone else knows better.
[And besides, I've already got godparents arranged for me. I don't remember having a single conversation with these people but I hope this whole process turns out well if it does happen.]
...kill me (figuratively) if nothing defining occurs.
These are opportunities for change. Choosing between these could reshape the path I'm about to take. And that means a lot for a very dissatisfied person like me.
I can only pick one of the two because, like you or anyone else, I can't be in two places at once. But given the choice, I would (of course) pick getting hauled off. Religion is a serious matter and I don't want to play with it (more than I have). Transferring needs a lot of persuasion and reason but rational risks always look good to me, even if it can lead to ostracism.
[Ostracism is going to be great for me. I would have new material for my blog. I'd love that.]
