[I'm not sure about this post. Just bear with me, will you?]
I escaped schoolwork at around nine in the morning today to consult my guidance counselor. I need some help in the psychological department. I’m not saying my head’s unstable but nobody knows for sure. Something was clouding up my disposition. I don't know what it is but I knew I had to leave.
What she and I talked about, I really have to process. There were too many issues crisscrossing one another. According to my counselor’s prescription, I had to be the following:
Assertive
I can’t be assertive but she said we've all got potential for significance and it's only through assertion that we are able to, I don't know, unleash it.
[Frankly, I wasn't looking for a spotlight to hit me. I only needed to get myself together, not to assert myself into the wild.]
(Her defintion of) Realistic
It’s all in my head. That was supposed to be my mantra. She mentioned something about reading Sweet Valley High and why I should disregard what it implies. I never read that book but I’m assuming she’s referring to the whole world of fiction and how I shouldn’t let it get me.
[I disagree with her definition of reality, by the way. Maybe it's her optimism that bends reality, as she calls it. But I don't have that to bend mine.]
I don't know if we ended up in resolve. Probably not. I don't think she was able to pinpoint my problem. Honestly, I couldn't pinpoint it either. But surely, we headed for progress and I realized progress was all I needed because when I stepped out of the room, I thought to myself, I should do this more often.
I walked back to my classroom with thoughts whirling but I was calm. I know it's just the equilibrium of life and how the day tends to sway that makes these things real but where I am in life isn't very high. It feels like drowning in the Atlantic Ocean while others are, like, cruising in the highway.
Maybe I'm just very impatient. I told someone present dissatisfaction only signifies future felicity but I don't think I convinced either of us enough.
I just have to trudge through my situation or, possibly, consider growing up.
**I know this is rather ambiguous, L.A., but I hope this answers your question (it's not very significant and I'm sure you've forgotten about it) because I really don't want to explain further. I'm not implying that I'm insane. I don't think I am. I just want to pretend I am sometimes because it make me feel like a new man. Or a new woman. It doesn't matter. I'll put an emoticon here just in case I'm already irritating you.**
:D
I escaped schoolwork at around nine in the morning today to consult my guidance counselor. I need some help in the psychological department. I’m not saying my head’s unstable but nobody knows for sure. Something was clouding up my disposition. I don't know what it is but I knew I had to leave.
What she and I talked about, I really have to process. There were too many issues crisscrossing one another. According to my counselor’s prescription, I had to be the following:
Assertive
I can’t be assertive but she said we've all got potential for significance and it's only through assertion that we are able to, I don't know, unleash it.
[Frankly, I wasn't looking for a spotlight to hit me. I only needed to get myself together, not to assert myself into the wild.]
(Her defintion of) Realistic
It’s all in my head. That was supposed to be my mantra. She mentioned something about reading Sweet Valley High and why I should disregard what it implies. I never read that book but I’m assuming she’s referring to the whole world of fiction and how I shouldn’t let it get me.
[I disagree with her definition of reality, by the way. Maybe it's her optimism that bends reality, as she calls it. But I don't have that to bend mine.]
I don't know if we ended up in resolve. Probably not. I don't think she was able to pinpoint my problem. Honestly, I couldn't pinpoint it either. But surely, we headed for progress and I realized progress was all I needed because when I stepped out of the room, I thought to myself, I should do this more often.
I walked back to my classroom with thoughts whirling but I was calm. I know it's just the equilibrium of life and how the day tends to sway that makes these things real but where I am in life isn't very high. It feels like drowning in the Atlantic Ocean while others are, like, cruising in the highway.
Maybe I'm just very impatient. I told someone present dissatisfaction only signifies future felicity but I don't think I convinced either of us enough.
I just have to trudge through my situation or, possibly, consider growing up.
**I know this is rather ambiguous, L.A., but I hope this answers your question (it's not very significant and I'm sure you've forgotten about it) because I really don't want to explain further. I'm not implying that I'm insane. I don't think I am. I just want to pretend I am sometimes because it make me feel like a new man. Or a new woman. It doesn't matter. I'll put an emoticon here just in case I'm already irritating you.**
:D
