It's been a week since I last posted. It's really not my fault if my head's not functioning well. And with something rather unexpected and definitely unwanted creeping around inconspicuously, I find myself out of my element a little too much of the time.
I just can't keep something off my head and according to my journal, it's been there for thirty-one days. It's not going anywhere. I mean, if you had somehow gotten hold of my journal, you would notice how I reiterate that something every single day.
It's not a distraction. Anything other than it is the distraction. It's more or less the feral perturbation and, indeed, it messed up my general belief that life is an equilibrium unto itself. That last sentence was just a mess of words, I know. I'm fond of that. But that doesn't change the fact that I want to scream this one off. I want it to go away, to get off and give me peace.
You won't understand. I refuse to be understood. But you should come to the conclusion that my messed up head is just trying to mess with yours. None of this would make sense to you. I barely used my words correctly. You don't even know who I am. You don't even know who I'm talking about. I don't even want to look back up and move the arrows to edit whatever words I have to.
I just want to let go of this. I want to move on. And to whoever is causing this mental turmoil, I really wish to God I'd never have met you. You're just making my life hard by your existence. But I don't hate you. You're one of the greatest friends I've had. You just frustrate me so much sometimes that I feel unable to do anything but write about how you make me feel unable to do anything.
And that, by the way, makes you a total mind-flipper.
I just can't keep something off my head and according to my journal, it's been there for thirty-one days. It's not going anywhere. I mean, if you had somehow gotten hold of my journal, you would notice how I reiterate that something every single day.
It's not a distraction. Anything other than it is the distraction. It's more or less the feral perturbation and, indeed, it messed up my general belief that life is an equilibrium unto itself. That last sentence was just a mess of words, I know. I'm fond of that. But that doesn't change the fact that I want to scream this one off. I want it to go away, to get off and give me peace.
You won't understand. I refuse to be understood. But you should come to the conclusion that my messed up head is just trying to mess with yours. None of this would make sense to you. I barely used my words correctly. You don't even know who I am. You don't even know who I'm talking about. I don't even want to look back up and move the arrows to edit whatever words I have to.
I just want to let go of this. I want to move on. And to whoever is causing this mental turmoil, I really wish to God I'd never have met you. You're just making my life hard by your existence. But I don't hate you. You're one of the greatest friends I've had. You just frustrate me so much sometimes that I feel unable to do anything but write about how you make me feel unable to do anything.
And that, by the way, makes you a total mind-flipper.
