News editing is no joke, apparently. The least I could do to help the news editor is to stay up with her, until God knows what time, to answer all her questions about that stupid article of mine, which she's completely rewriting, as far as I know. I bet she gasped when I told her I'm under her department because I'm the stupidest news writer in the goddamned universe, and no editor in said universe would like to have me under their department. Am I even entitled to call myself that, a news writer? I'm just a brilliant mutt who passed during the day of try-outs, and thinks she's good enough to stay.
As for myself, in general, I'm still in my journal-less hell and I'm still not in speaking terms with the people I want to talk to, and I'm not quite sure why. One of them just went offline, as I was typing that goddamned sentence! Blog of the devil and the devil doth disappear, eh? I smiled when I saw her riding shotgun with the window down yesterday (or was it the other day) and now I feel stupid for even thinking I deserved to have seen her revealing her after-school gangster side. It was funny, at the time. Now I'm just dissatisfied with myself. Won't I ever rise above this sinking level of observing when I'm supposed to live?
My point is not understandable. Maybe that's why the news editor is still awake. Whatever the hell I did last month was in an alien language and she feared to be reprimanded by our moderator so she created another article, and named me as the author. God. I'm making her Senior year a lot harder than it should be. Well, I'm freakin' sorry. She's not the only one with problems. I have to wake up everyday as me. That's problem enough. I could have just been any person, you know?
I could have been more than this tiny speck I am. I could have been in England, or Brazil. I could have written better. I could have been less obscure. I could have made it easier for Ate Selena to fix my news article, at least. What did I do? I gave her hell through a goddamned e-mail. Her emoticons are disappearing. I think I'm gradually pissing her off. I'm not entirely convinced by what Sir Jaynos said this morning. Life is unfair, however you put it. I'm on its unfortunate side. I'll send a silent apology to Ate Selena. I don't think I can make it as far in the night as she could. I'm debating on whether or not I should say goodnight. I know my existence is giving her nightmares. I wish I'd been smarter, for her, but I'm not, and again, I am sorry.
So, in sum, I still hate my life, and I'm finding it easier to do that every day.
As for myself, in general, I'm still in my journal-less hell and I'm still not in speaking terms with the people I want to talk to, and I'm not quite sure why. One of them just went offline, as I was typing that goddamned sentence! Blog of the devil and the devil doth disappear, eh? I smiled when I saw her riding shotgun with the window down yesterday (or was it the other day) and now I feel stupid for even thinking I deserved to have seen her revealing her after-school gangster side. It was funny, at the time. Now I'm just dissatisfied with myself. Won't I ever rise above this sinking level of observing when I'm supposed to live?
My point is not understandable. Maybe that's why the news editor is still awake. Whatever the hell I did last month was in an alien language and she feared to be reprimanded by our moderator so she created another article, and named me as the author. God. I'm making her Senior year a lot harder than it should be. Well, I'm freakin' sorry. She's not the only one with problems. I have to wake up everyday as me. That's problem enough. I could have just been any person, you know?
I could have been more than this tiny speck I am. I could have been in England, or Brazil. I could have written better. I could have been less obscure. I could have made it easier for Ate Selena to fix my news article, at least. What did I do? I gave her hell through a goddamned e-mail. Her emoticons are disappearing. I think I'm gradually pissing her off. I'm not entirely convinced by what Sir Jaynos said this morning. Life is unfair, however you put it. I'm on its unfortunate side. I'll send a silent apology to Ate Selena. I don't think I can make it as far in the night as she could. I'm debating on whether or not I should say goodnight. I know my existence is giving her nightmares. I wish I'd been smarter, for her, but I'm not, and again, I am sorry.
So, in sum, I still hate my life, and I'm finding it easier to do that every day.
