One of my friends (it's hard to tell who's what these days) used my name as some sort of pejorative term the other day. It only bothered me now, when I saw something I probably wasn't intended to see. I didn't have to ask myself or anybody what's happening, but I feel obliged to. What gives them the power to do whatever they do, anyway? Is it because I don't fight back or is it just because I pose no threat to anybody? Both? Or more?
What's so horrid about me to deserve a three-day streak of feeling like dead skin? I could admit a lot to myself but there's only so much introversion could serve me. I do my best to evade them yet things come and I feel bitch-slapped, yet again. I learned from all of them--there's no such thing as profanity so I could go ahead and drop all the asterisks.
I don't want to spend another year with those people. I'll bet next year would be an exact replica of Gehenna, complete with hobgoblins and hags. It could get downright hellish and nightmarish when you're not like them. But for God's sake, I don't want to be like them just so I could get through the remaining years of school. And if it means anything, the place is a Catholic school. If I couldn't escape the irony of it being Gehenna-like, then maybe whatever's left of the supposedly effective setting could help me endure the fire and get myself to think of the college I covet. Maybe my life would reach new heights.
Anberlin has this song called "Cadence" and I think it suits the occasion well. I might as well do it for the One above too, if I were to do the hell-walk. I live by the values of three different religions, but I think everything goes down to staying away from the spawns of evil. I've said it a lot before, I'm in no way a kind person, but I feel electricity within me and I want to survive.
I have no idea what all those paragraphs were. I scroll up and I see mismatched stuff about God and the people from my school and me. I'll stitch it up soon. Nothing's in orbit anyway. It doesn't surprise me.
What's so horrid about me to deserve a three-day streak of feeling like dead skin? I could admit a lot to myself but there's only so much introversion could serve me. I do my best to evade them yet things come and I feel bitch-slapped, yet again. I learned from all of them--there's no such thing as profanity so I could go ahead and drop all the asterisks.
I don't want to spend another year with those people. I'll bet next year would be an exact replica of Gehenna, complete with hobgoblins and hags. It could get downright hellish and nightmarish when you're not like them. But for God's sake, I don't want to be like them just so I could get through the remaining years of school. And if it means anything, the place is a Catholic school. If I couldn't escape the irony of it being Gehenna-like, then maybe whatever's left of the supposedly effective setting could help me endure the fire and get myself to think of the college I covet. Maybe my life would reach new heights.
Anberlin has this song called "Cadence" and I think it suits the occasion well. I might as well do it for the One above too, if I were to do the hell-walk. I live by the values of three different religions, but I think everything goes down to staying away from the spawns of evil. I've said it a lot before, I'm in no way a kind person, but I feel electricity within me and I want to survive.
I have no idea what all those paragraphs were. I scroll up and I see mismatched stuff about God and the people from my school and me. I'll stitch it up soon. Nothing's in orbit anyway. It doesn't surprise me.
